Love and all its forms

Just when you think you will never know Love the way you feel you are meant to experience it, or that it just wasn't meant for you, and all of that self-serving BS starts to creep into your head, God slaps you in the face and reminds you of the Love of another kind.

For me, it is in the face of a newborn baby boy.

My heart has expanded so inexplicably, suddenly, and has ballooned to a much larger size than I ever thought possible. All thanks to this precious little face.

Godspeed, little man

Sweet dreams, little man

Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels' wings

Godspeed

Sweet dreams

"Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)"

-Dixie Chicks

Forgiveness (A personal decree)

I've noticed that the subject of forgiveness has been a constant in my life for a while now. Whether it be through a random post or message, or as an actual Critical Thinking assignment in response to The Sunflower by Simon Wiesenthal. I suppose you could say something or someone is forcing me to take the time to truly reflect on this topic and how I should I apply it to my life and personal experiences.

The notion of forgiveness has long been a subject that has been indoctrinated and engrained in my memory for as long as I can recall. I was raised devout christian and have been taught that it is necessary to forgive those who persecute, taunt, and do me wrong; it is a type of testament to God’s love to forgive and you must do so if you wish to be forgiven for your own wrong-doings as well. I was not allowed to partake in my church’s monthly communion service without doing some serious self-examination and determined that I was not “at fault” with my brother or my sister, or rather, any member from the congregation. If after doing so I had found that I had hatred in my heart or done somebody wrong, I had to then approach said person and ask for their forgiveness. It was not until then that I were to have been able to take part in the service, a service that was held in remembrance of Jesus Christ and his unwavering love and forgiveness. It was noted that Christ’s teachings also required for me to “turn the other cheek” and that I must forgive my brother “seventy times seven”. It isn’t until now, until I have experienced some more serious, emotional attacks to my person that I have begun to question whether this theory of the practice of forgiveness can be applied to any and all situations, or if one must forgive at all costs, or if there are certain situations that do not warrant forgiveness.

My response(s) to this keeps changing over time. I have, however, come to one conclusion - that everyone truly is capable of forgiveness, of forgiving, and being forgiven. But, it is a choice. You either decide to free yourself of hatred and anger or choose to hold onto it. Those that you ask forgiveness from may not always grant it, and that's okay so long as you have done your part.

So today, on my 30th birthday, I have decided to forgive the person that matters most to me - myself. I am letting go of past wrongs and mistakes that I have made while well aware that I have asked those that I have wronged to forgive me. I am starting over.

"Another Person's Eyes" by Charlie Veitch...

"To err is human, to forgive divine." - Alexander Pope